with the flow or against it

Do u know about the phrase; "Follow with the flow"? well, i often used that phrase to advice and cheer up my friends around me. And its seems worked and motivated. But me myself, personally said that i against the flow.

Since from the begining, i always fought it. It had been more 12 years. And since from the begining, i knew. I knew that i cant fight it forever. Thinking about it was really scary and hurting.

Everything happend in my live got its own reason. My reason for this; i want to have an adventure, travel around, risk taker, learning, gamble upon experience and so much more. I want to be myself, different and uniqe.

And of course, it broke a few rules in human lives.

I am happy to be strong and tough. I feel so alive live with it. I totally dont give a damn to the comunity. But i really do realise 1 thing, 1 day, i will not have the power to fight and drag by the river flow. The legends of me are no more.

I will turn into the comunity. Becoming the audience, hopeless, weak, trapped and normal. My colors are usualy bright and outstanding become dull and invisible.

Today was the day i turned into a comunity. Today is the day i became weak. Today is the day i not the sun anymore. Today is the day i lost my dreams. Today is the day i lost something precious. And i cried today. Hidden from the eyes of surroundings.

This can never turned back to the way i used to be. I wonder if i can hold the smallest piece of the sun. I am normal and nothing is speacial about me anymore.